Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Diary of a First-Time Dungeon Master

Creating my own classes to fit the Dragon Age universe can't be that hard. Surely it won't take over two weeks of my life.

On a roll. I have read through the entire spell list. I will only have to do this once.

How many hours have passed?

Oh. I am reading through the entire spell list again.

Blood Mages'll get proficiency in Charisma saving throws, plus they need it for a fat handful of their enchantment spells. It's weird, though. Somehow I don't see them as very charismatic.

Here we see a blood mage casting friends in DA2.

I wonder if I can get away with counting the Player's Handbook as a "book read" on Goodreads.

Seriously. It's 300 pages and I've read it twice.

Do you think those kinds of judgmental people exist? You know, the ones who when a friend's just-read book pops up on their feed, they scoff if it's like, a comic book? Because I've counted comic books before.When I fall behind on my reading goal, I'll read comics and count them as a separate book each and then I feel better about myself because it's like I read five books in a day and it only took an hour.

Am I a hack?

Templars in Dragon Age are bullshit. They're very clearly mages. Have you seen Holy Smite? According to D&D, all those smite and might and holy-jesus-juice powers are spells. Spells. Someone send a missive to the Chantry, because they're being duped.

The DM guide is also 300 pages.

I have spent eight hours on the Blood Mage class. It's like a wizard but there's blood now... I'm dead inside.

My DM-friend suggested some changes. I am now reading the spell list for the third time.

I watched an episode of Critical Roll and am fairly certain I'm outclassed.

I'm practicing accents now. I've mastered vaguely British-sometimes-suddenly-Irish and covering my panic through a stutter I'll blame on the low self-esteem of my NPCs.

The one warrior in the group rolled two 3s for his hit points.

He has less health than the Bard.