Sunday, February 14, 2016

A Cheesy Poem About Love and Halo (Happy Valentine's Day!)

"Happy Valentines Day!" he wakes to say,
"I have an idea of what to play:
that one on the xbox where you have lots of fun,
you're seven feet tall and sprint with a gun."

"Halo?" I ask, still half asleep.
(The last time he played, it was weak)
(Don't get me wrong; he's an awesome gamer)
(just can't bring his keyboard and mouse to slayer*)

"Okay, that sounds like fun," I say.
After all, it's Valentine's Day.

Multi-Team Headhunter on Powerhouse.
Partner learns to fear his spouse --
raining down on bottom mid with rockets,
plucking skulls from Spartan pockets.

"Run to mid!" I jump and say,
not seeing teammate #3 in my way.
BETRAYAL the director roars,
and to the sky, our ally soars.

"Did he just quit?" my partner asks.
"Yes," I answer, "so we better run fast.
There's a bunch of skulls left by Cliff Gate
Let's go get 'em; I can hardly wait."

This next part, I'm loathe to admit
a terrible tactic that makes the best of us quit.
I camped by shotgun where a new return point would appear
so I could get all the skulls and be in the clear.

But my partner spawns and cries,
"Look at all these skulls left by people who died!"
He runs through the field I was to pillage
accumulating enough skulls to fill a whole village.

His navpoint flashes an imminent Skullamanjaro
He barely has time to yell "Whoah!"
as the radar blots with endless red
and a swarm of enemies come to make us dead.

And though unsurprisingly, we don't manage a win
Halo's always worth it when I'm playing it with him. 

*PC Gamers can reclaim their mouse-worshipping awesomeness when playing Halo Online!

Happy Valentine's Day, Geeks! Here's hoping everyone's at full hearts today!

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